Baby Talk

I want to write a book offering parents of young children advice in the art of circumlocution. And believe me, it is an art. Do you know how many ways there are to say "I think Olivia and I will go play on the swing at the park tomorrow," without actually using those words? Of particular importance to avoid are the words park, swing, swingset, toy, back-and-forth (because we associate that with certain toys), and even go. ("Go? Go? Go? Go?" Olivia--er, I mean, the typical child--may petition for a half hour while attempting to put on her shoes.)

For starters, there's:

1. I think Olivia and I will make use of the pendular child's apparatus at the recreational greenspace tomorrow.

2. I think Olivia and I will revisit the chain-suspended motion-chair at the municipal commons tomorrow. (This is the Beowulf version.)

3. I think Olivia and I will exploit the hanging, swaying seat that at the community leisure grounds tomorrow.

Now isn't that more creative than you-know-whatting on the thingie at the you-know-where?

And here's a gratuitous shot of Olivia on the pendular child's apparatus: